The Graduate Student Conference and You

I’m back.

First and foremost: an apology. I have been neglectful of you, dear blog. I have left you abandoned for upwards of a week when I promised I would be faithful to my bi-weekly updating. Between midterms, conferences, a show at work and interjections of my personal life, I have been negligent of this promise, but hope to find myself back on track in the coming weeks.

This past weekend, I attended the University of Montreal’s EGSS conference. The conference’s theme was Performance and Performativity and it was more than interesting to meet my Canadian Colleagues and hear what they had to say on the topic at hand. My paper was again well-received (Act I Scene I: Performativity and Theatricality in The Canterbury Tales) and I left the conference with a fount of new ideas. Intellectual stimulation at its prime; a wonderful way to spend any weekend.

It occurred to me as I sat in the University how very many things I had seen in the past few weeks that I wished someone had prepared me for. Indeed, before my first encounter with the conference circuit I had looked for some sort of FAQ or “guide to conferences for the inquisitive Graduate Student” and come up surprisingly short. I had so many questions, so many things I wanted to know, but due to my lack of information was forced to enter the endeavor blinded. Though my experience thus far has been limited (and very pleasant considering how lost I felt upon initial introduction to the experience itself), I am determined that another Graduate Student need not be plunged into the murky depths of conferencery without a guide. So, I present to you a bullet-pointed list of “things I wish someone had told me about Graduate Student Conferences before I left home”, or “How to Succeed in Conferencery Without Even Trying”, or “Everything you Ever Wanted to Know about Conferences but were Afraid to Ask”.

*Dress code at these things is business casual. I have seen many a conference-goer in jeans and a sweater vest/oxford shirt number. I myself have worn a suit, but I was definitely one of the few who put such effort and polish into my appearance. You will not be out of place in slacks and a nice shirt. But please, for everyone’s sake, wear nice shoes and not sneakers. You will look better and won’t give prim-and-proper-fogies like me headaches.

*They will feed you. Breakfast and lunch usually, dinner is on you. Breakfast will be bagels/donuts/pastries and coffee, and lunch will usually be some kind of sandwich platter and fruit salad. There will be abundant amounts of bottled water, so don’t worry about bringing your own.

*Everyone wears a nametag. Therefore, don’t worry too much about remembering names because you can just glance at it and have your answer. Instead, try to ask questions about your colleagues’ programs, areas of interest and primary research concerns. Remember that this is networking and not social hour, though having personality and things to connect about is a good thing. What would be better is connecting over intellectual concepts rather than computer games.

*Conferences. Are. Boring. I cannot emphasize this enough. People sit and read their papers. If you are lucky, they will be good at reading aloud and will have practiced their paper a time or two beforehand. If you are extraordinarily lucky, they will have pretty slides to look at. If you want to stand out in a crowd, be one of those people with pretty slides. If you are a kinesthetic learner like me, abandon all hope ye who enter here. I take copious notes at these things just to keep myself following the arguments. My notes also tend to prove amusing reads after the fact (the gem of this weekend being “phenomenologon… do do do do do” no doubt intended to be sung to the popular muppet ditty).

*If you are one of those awesome presenters who give a break from the tedium of reading academic mumbo-jumbo, ensure to have your presentation on both a laptop and a thumb drive. I have yet to be somewhere where I did not need both.

*Also have copious notes about the longer version of your paper readily available. It will come in handy when you are asked questions.

*Practice your presentation and time it. Come in at least one minute under requested time limit, more like five if you need to leave room for questions and such time isn’t worked into the panel for you.

*Academics run on caffeine, determination and fifty-cent words; not sleep. If you are like me and require eight hours to function, do not intend to go out after day one of the conference.

*Being at these conferences requires much more energy than you would think. You will be wiped afterwards. Go back to your hotel, grab a glass of wine, and decompress. Sleep well, you will need it.

*Don’t pay to get into a graduate conference. It’s not worth the money and there are plenty which will let you in for free. All-level conferences are different, you will be batting with the big boys there and should expect to pay for the privilege (yes, even if you’re presenting). This can get costly. One way to alleviate conference costs is to make friends in places where you think you may return; do not be above couch-surfing (especially if you have a couch in order to repay the favor in kind).

*Know, at least in the most basic terms, who Foucault, Derrida, Barthes and Bakhtin are before you attend. It will save you from intellectual humiliation and give you something to joke about with the other snobs. Also know who the big names in your field are and the basics of their work, it will help you follow papers being given.

*You are at this conference to witness the exchange of ideas amongst your peers and take the temperature of your work in comparison with and in front of same peers. Use that opportunity to its fullest extent. It’s not often that people let you look over their shoulders at their research.

*If there are panels you are not interested in, don’t go see them. The panelists would rather have an alert, awake audience than people snoring in the back row. Give yourself a break, grab a cup of coffee, or even leave early if you want to. There’s nothing wrong with this. Do not feel obligated to attend panels because the presenters will not feel obligated to attend yours.

*Don’t be shy; nobody knows anybody. Especially if you are visiting from far away, the locals are happy to have you and would love to tell you about the university and surrounding environs.

*Have fun. Seriously. If you’re not having fun, how do you expect to spend the rest of your life doing this?

….I am certain I am missing a thing or two. Further questions can be directed at this post and will be answered post-haste (please insert rim-shot sound effect here).

Goodnight, everyone.