Also, since I do seem to be doing quite a bit of reviewing, I have devised the following rating system so that we can have a short-hand about how much I hate what I am currently reading/watching.
I’ll Cheat on the Bard – This is awesome. It is beyond awesome. It’s like if Shakespeare wrote Lord of the Rings and somehow came back to life as a non-brains-eating zombie to do a stage production of it at the Swan Theatre starring Ian McKellon, Erol Flynn, Johnny Depp, Catherine Zeta Jones and Meryl Streep all, somehow, in the prime of their lives because of some fantastic time-traveling device which he then gifts to me along with a bagillion dollars from a long-building royalties fund with which to build my theatre.
A Real Page-Turner – Good show, good show. I thoroughly enjoyed it, I was entertained, I may even fall in love with it if it takes me out to a nice dinner and demonstrates both an ability to dance and an in-depth knowledge of fine wine.
Check It out of the Library – Not bad. It’s missing something, but it’s not bad. I wasn’t entirely enthused, but did not feel as though I wasted my time and money. I would probably ditch it at the least chance of something better, but I would definitely at least give it a shot on a night when I had nothing better to do.
Balderdash and Lies – I really didn’t like it. I didn’t hate it, I can’t muster that much energy in regards to it, but man… find a better option, there are plenty out there.
Sparkly Vampires – I hate this piece. Hate it. It may go on my list of things that are on loop in my own personal hell along with Billy Joel’s “she got a way”.
Burn it – My disgust for this piece keeps me up nights. There is a deep-seated loathing for it that burns within me whenever it is brought into conversation. My world is better for pretending that it does not, and never did, exist. I would rather be gagged with a spoon by Alexander Pope when he was in one of his particularly vindictive woman-hating moods, then have him perform a root canal on me with Eighteenth century technology than see this again.